700: 700 Beans Special Release (April Fools!) – Kaldi's Coffee

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700: 700 Beans Special Release (April Fools)

Product image 1700: 700 Beans Special Release (April Fools)
Product image 2700: 700 Beans Special Release (April Fools)
Product image 3700: 700 Beans Special Release (April Fools)
Product image 4700: 700 Beans Special Release (April Fools)
Product image 5700: 700 Beans Special Release (April Fools)

Regular price $700.00

Whole Bean

Hand-picked and hand-roasted, meet hand-counted

For years, specialty coffee professionals have espoused the benefits of coffee cherries being hand-picked at peak ripeness by skilled producers at origin. Coffee roasters, in turn, have been equally boisterous about the hand-roasted nature of their coffee beans, delicately and masterfully controlling gas inputs to achieve the perfect taste profile. 

But, until today, there has been a large, consequential gap. The bag of beans you bring home has been missing that final touch of the human hand.

Today, we are proud to officially close this massive gap that has spanned decades, and to finally achieve the last, elusive piece of the coffee quality puzzle. 

Meet 700: 700 Beans Blend.

Watch the video


What is 700 Beans?

700 Beans is our classic 700 blend, dialed up to 700. Every bag of 700 Beans contains exactly 700 coffee beans, hand-counted, one by one. 

No barbaric weighing. No short cuts. No counting by groups of fives or tens. We count every coffee bean individually, ensuring every bean is present, cared for, and given the kiss of breath by the audible counting of our Coffee Counting Professional. You will recognize the extra-exquisiteness of its balance of chocolates with light fruits over your palate as you marvel at the complete hand-touched nature of your coffee.

The third wave is over. It’s time for the fourth wave. And fifth. And sixth and seventh and eighth and ninth and tenth and eleventh…. 

Available on April 1st only.


What are the benefits of hand-counting coffee beans?
Hand counting 700 beans means looking at 700 beans. Our Coffee Counting Professional can inspect each bean to make sure it feels truly seen, like it’s more than just a number or a fraction of a gram in a 340 gram bag. 

What do I do after I make a batch and it’s no longer 700 beans?
We advise buying another box so that you always have 700 beans. 

How should I brew my coffee?
700 Beans will not work on a scale. Every brew needs to be hand counted in order to extract properly. We recommend dividing 700 by 5.852 to get the proper number of beans to make a strength you’re used to in a normal cup. 

How can I be sure I got 700 beans?
We advise just trusting us. After all, who would want to count out 700 beans?

Can I get this ground?
Are you kidding me?

(April Fools!)

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